The moment I waited for nine long months was just around the corner. I am in the hospital ready for the surgery. In between the 4 minutes apart contractions, I manage to call up a close friend (Have I mentioned I am blessed with wonderful friends! What do I do without ya’ll?? ) and asked her to drop D in the day care. After all the drama in the delivery room and successful delivery of Dlittle, am heading back to the recovery room. Friend and her sis arrive in no time with my mom. H takes a break to pick D up from day care, takes her home, gives her a bath and brings her to the hospital.

D walks into the recovery room, startled at the setup. She looks at the IV needle in my hands and says ‘Hi mummy, gocker(doctor) gave you jection(injection)’ and looks around the room. She has not spotted Dlittle inside the bassinet yet. I break the news to her. Dlittle has come out of mummy’s tummy, D. ‘Weear(Where?) mummy? I not find aanything’ says D. By then H lifts Dlittle out of the bassinet holds her in one arm, kneels down and holds D in another arm. The three of them hugging each other, tears of joy rolling H’s eyes, there was silence for about a minute. Surprisingly, D who cannot stand or sit still for more than 10 seconds in one place, was hugging H for a whole minute as though she understood the emotions. Maybe she does!
It was another memorable moment captured in heart.

D comes to me, gives me a hug and says, ‘Mummy, Dlittle has comeoutted yours tummy. That’s why yours tummy is small now?’ How sweet of her to say my tummy is small. My mom could learn to be a little more subtle from her since a week later she commented that I look six months pregnant! Just then the nurse walks in to check the baby’s temperature. The minute the cold thermometer touches Dlittle, the little one screams with all the energy she has in store. D comes near me and whispers, Auntie is urting(hurting) my sister, mummy. She is crying. Nurse asks D if she is the big sister. D says ‘Yes. I am D didi. Shes name is Dlittle. You know, I am 2 years old. I went to my pink school today’. Please don’t ask me how these statements are connected. This weirdness comes from her fathers genes.

We were home on Monday. Docs wanted to chuck me out on Sunday which was the third day. I refused as I was dreading the day with both the kids home. Also, could hardly stand up for more than 30 seconds as the hemoglobin level was very low. I needed some time, figured Monday would be more manageable as D would be in day care. We reached home that afternoon. Mom received us with aarti. I enjoyed homecoming for a moment, the next moment I am shedding tears as I did not let D witness all this. Was it the harmones again? I guess I felt a sense of guilt the last few days as D has not been talking to me as she normally does.

Monday – Friday was manageable, we would finish everything before D comes home. We have family time when she reaches home, dinner and sleep. We are all making sure D gets enough attention and does not feel left out. We try to involve her in everything we do with Dlittle. Works for the most part except for the early morning drama when she gets frantic. 3 times this past week she woke up between 4 and 5 with a scowl. Then the drama starts and lasts for couple of hours. Hold me in the arm and swing like you do with Dlittle, demands the big sister. Don’t want Dlittle in my house. I am not a big girl, I am a very small girl. H even tried fulfilling her request couple of times, but could not carry her for more than 5 minutes. Only way to calm her down is to put Barney. Not a pretty sight, but was manageable.

Then comes Saturday, I wake up with the thought that D would be home for next 2 days, sure my blood pressure was at its high. Am trying to take it easy and trying to give D as much attention as I can. To my surprise, D was this responsible cute little big sister. To our surprise, D is ok with me and H holding Dlittle, she screams her lungs out if my mom holds her. Thats when I realised this little sweetie has come to terms with herself that naani has come to take care of her and mummy and papa are going to take care of Dlittle. Was overwhelming to see a 2 and a half year old behave that way. On another note, My mom’s leaving in a month, just booked her tickets today. What will I do when she leaves? Lets not talk about that. Will see when it happens.

Its amazing to see how the older one adjusts to the newcomer and automagically feels a sense of relationship and responsibility. I can see her genuinely wanting to participate in everything relating to Dlittle. Be it a family chat about Dlittle, diaper change or nursing. For a little humor, few days back Dlittle was crying. D comes to me and says Mummy, Dlittle is crying. Can you feed her milk. She had just nursed, so I told D that Dlittle is probably just a little sleepy. If she would be quite, the baby might sleep. Don’t know what crossed her mind, this little one is pulling her shirt down on one sleeve, goes near Dlittle and says, hey Dlittle, this is D didi here, I will feed you. Was amazed and shocked at the same time.

Its almost midnight, am sitting besides Dlittle and writing this post, almost time for Dlittle’s next feed. D is sleeping in her room with naani. H is working in his office room, waiting for me to scream thats its time to sleep. Its a wonderful feeling to have kids, and 2 of them make it complete. I can spend hours watching my kids, searching my little me somewhere in them

Thanks everyone for the wonderful wishes, thanks poppins amma for posting the news on your blog. That is really very sweet of you.
Have also sent pictures to many of you’ll whose email ids I have(H is against putting pics on the net. Being a hacker himself, he is too paranoid about google indexing them forever).

And the new look to celebrate the new arrival

Yes, yet another successful acheivement in life! Delivered Dlittle

I opted for a repeat C-Section, scheduled next week. Well.. baby decided to see the world before the scheduled date. Ended up going into labor, had contractions for almost 20 hours, before the doc accepted to do the surgery. I kept arguing with the doc that if this is a scheduled repeat-C, why do I have to go through pre-labor/active labor before the surgery. His argument is if baby is ready to come out, you would automatically go into active labor before the 39th week. If not, and we end up doing the surgey before that, baby might have respiratory problems. yeah right. Thats what I wanted to hear. Whatever!

I ended up going into active labor early morning, rushed to the hospital. Hats off to you ladies who have had a normal delivery, esp women who do it without epidural. Am I supposed to breathe through the contractions? every time H reminds me of that, I would stare at him ready to kill him if he uttered another word. He looks at me helpless and doing pretty much anything I want him to. I wish I could have asked him to get me a Ferrari… A little too late now.

Doc scheduled the surgery in an hour. Just then there was an emergency C that suddenly came up. Having gone through an emergency C myself with D, I did not utter a word and gave the doc a smile. A little later found out that this lady delivered a dead fetus and could not deliver the placenta. I had tears rolling and the contractions though awefully painful, did not bother me any more. Labor started progressing faster, doc ordered medication to stop the contractions. 5 hours later the moment I waited for nine long months arrived.

H is all dressed up, he was looking romantic in scrubs He had to wait outside while the docs were preparing me for the surgery. They gave me the spinal and there peaks my pessimism. I am a born pessimist working hard to get over it as dont want my kids to be one. Previous emergency C, D being born with an Apgar of ‘0′ breathed after 7 minutes, having read the hospital fine prints that there is a possibility they might cut the baby during the surgery, possibility of complications with repeat C as they do not know how the previous scars have healed.. List goes on and on.. All these flashed in a matter of 30 seconds. At one point, I pretty much lost it and screamed at the anesthesiologist and the OB/Gyn that I do not want this sugery, take me out of the room OR get H in. She kept convincing me its for my own good and to avoid infections they have him outside and will bring him in as soon as they are ready to perform the sugery.

In about 5 minutes, H is in. I am squeezing his hands tight and 5 minutes into the surgery getting another panic attack. Why is it taking them so long to take the baby out. No wonder I am not a physician I am telling myself something goes wrong this time, I dont want to be there to see it. I pretty much spoke my will loud. Thank gos the docs were caucasions and chinese and did not understand a word of hindi I spoke. I am telling H what he needs to do with D when I wont be there. Where D should live and what not. I can sense he wants to burst into laughter at the same time nervous about the baby. 10 minutes later, I hear the baby cry and the nurse says Apgar 9. What a relief to hear 9 after having heard 0 before

We are home enjoying Dlittle. D is having a blast with Dlittle, shows a lot of love and affection as long as I dont share her pink princess dress, comforter and bed with her little sis.
More on her reactions later, when my body co-operates with my brain…

Few days back I ended up dropping D in the day care as H had some production issues with a client and slept just after 5:00am. The care taker says D has been singing the saga – My mummy says I am a big girl now – for the past few days.

It all started when I decided to p-t(potty-train) her, which I have been trying on and off for the past 9 – 10 months. Starting last month I tried telling her she is a big girl now and needs to stop wearing diapers, Only babies wear diapers. Also got her some cute underwears, it worked. She is p-t now. What an achievement!!

She is backfiring with “I am a big girl now” every time I ask her not to touch or do things she is not supposed to. The other day she wants to see Thomas train in the laptop. Thanks to youtube, she is gotten used to watching videos On-demand. I try and restrict 1 hour of TV/video, works for the most part..

D1: I want to see green Thomas train.. that snow man.. where Baad uncle spill dirty on Percy face.. becomes dirty.. like black black..
Me: (Wondering which episode she is referring to). I search for Thomas train in youtube and show her the results so that she can point me to the one she wants to watch.
D1: Glances through the page and says. ‘This all wrong wrong mummy. I will so(show) you which one I want’ and reaches to the laptop keyboard.
Me: I told you not to touch mummy’s laptop, you have already pulled few keys out of the keyboard.
D1: I big girl now Mummy. I can do it myself. I will not do bamshi (badmashi)
Me: ok..(reluctantly, but curious to see what she would do.. )
D1: Types few letters and hits Enter(H has taught her to hit the Enter key after she finishes typing. )
Nothing happpens.
Me: What happened D?
D1: Maybe there is no volume. Hits on the volume key some twenty times.. Its not working Mummy. I think battery gone. I will get Papa’s laptop…

Few days back we are at a departmental store. I picked up stuff and came to the billing counter. Swiped the card and was about to sign. D sitting in the cart, tries to reach up and says ‘Mummy, I can drok(draw), I big girl now’. The lady couldnt stop laughing. ‘He is co cute. How old is he’. I had to correct her that D is a girl

I am getting contractions(pregnant with D2) every now and then, D is getting used to my mom and H telling her ‘Mummy is not feeling well. Be gentle with her’. Couple of days back, she managed to get a bottle of benadryl and a spoon, approaches me and says. ‘Letu(Lie down) 5 minis(minutes), I will give you medicine. You will be ok after’. I tell her that she will not be able to open it. Well.. she says.. I big girl now, mummy. I can open. Tries frantically for few mins, get angry and throws the bottle. Thank god that was a plastic bottle.

Yesterday evening, H wants to go running. As soon as D realised, she grabbed her socks/shoes/jacket and was all set to go. H sat her down and said Papa is going to run, Its very cold outside and you are too young to run. D says, ‘No papa, I can run. You want see how. See..’ and hops around the living room. H is quitely sitting there not knowing what to say next