Conversation with D this morning:

[D is sitting in the living room and I am in the kitchen fixing breakfast]

D: Grainy.
Me: [Fixing breakfast]
D: GRAINY!
Me: [Still fixing breakfast]
D: Mummy!
Me: Yes, beta. I am getting your breakfast in a minute.
[D walks into the kitchen]
D: Grainy[This time in a softer tone].
Me: What is Grainy betu?
D: Grain nee. You only Grain nee.
Me: What are you saying? Mummy cannot understand.
D: Grain nee. Grain nee. Grain nee. Your hair is white, look at, this side.

Huh? Granny? I need to hit the parlor!

[Edited: Writing this post got me thinking, where did she learn to associate white hair with Granny? ]

D’s day care was off this past Friday. Grand plans for the day was to have fun coloring (Inspired by Tharini), make pasta necklace(Thanks to Barney), get a makeover(ok, hair cut) and finish it with dinner at Fresh choice.

We started off with the coloring project. My ultimate goal was to get her to sit at one place for 10 minutes with the crayons and chart paper. To get her into action, I outlined a butterfly, asking her to color it. I was vigilantly observing from a distance. She showed no interest in coloring, neither did she sit at one place. She was more interested in taking out the cap of the crayons(these are the pen type crayons), boxing them into plastic containers, transferring them from one box to another. She then mix and match the cap and the crayon of different colors. Boxes them again. Un-boxes, this time, caps it with the right colors. I intervened about coloring the butterfly. She said ok. Just then I took a break to check om Dlittle. I come back to see D has drawn spots on the butterfly. Wow, you think? No, she hasn’t drawn the spots, she has made holes in the chart and claims she drew spots! Maybe she is not ready for this yet We decided to hop on to the next activity.

It came to my realisation it was not a good time to make the pasta necklace as D would then demand pasta for lunch. We had plans to eat out that night(pasta and soup). So, we ended up with singing and dancing. Dancing to all sorts of tunes, from wheels on the bus to Jhoom Barrrabar Jhoom.
It was a beautiful Sunny day. H who was supposed to be working from home, could not resist all the fun we were having Joining the fun, papa and D went out to play hop splash.
Tired from dancing and hop slash, D crashed to sleep.
Later that evening, we went to Fresh choice for dinner, D’s favorite restaurant. Actually, a family favorite. She loves the soup, pasta, jello AND ice cream. We had a blast. In the midst of eating, H hands over the iphone to me asking me to listen to it. I thought he was listening to a podcast and probably some interesting twist he wanted me to listen to. I took it from his hands and it was playing ‘bahoon mein chali aa..’. Both of us kept smiling at each other . It reminded me of Pop-Moms this post when we driving back home.(I know, I need to get a life outside work and blogging!). But, I guess these small gestures is what keeps us going..

The day did not go as planned, it was better than we planned [D did surprise me on Saturday, will write another post].

[I started responding to the comments on the previous post, realised it was getting too long, so here goes another one.]

First of all, thanks for all your tips and comments. It so overwhelming to see you wonderful mommies out there whom I have never met, taking few minutes to read somebody’s “venting out” post and even taking a minute to comment. It means a lot to a loner, who can’t keep her mouth shut for more than 5 minutes when awake, who sits at home all day, juggling between the madly entrepreneurial husband who only talks when needed, work and the little ones. Days go by when she has not met OR spoke to another person other than The husband and kids.
[Not that I don't have friends, I am blessed with wonderful friends, but they have limited time to rant... they have kids and work too. Blogging is my new found therapist!]

In response to the comments:
I know I am loving her enough and doing all I can. I wrote what that moment made me feel, it’s the tone with which she said it and the frustration she showered on naana.
Yes, first I need to change the story. Maybe a more sensible story that does not involve poor naana. Or maybe no story! Just reality and she needs to deal with it.

utbt, she has said this many times in the last few weeks and you are right it has always been when she has done something wrong and gets corrected for it.
This time however, she had woken up from a good 10 hour sleep. She is usually her best in the mornings, the loving and cuddling kid. She hasn’t done anything to look for a way out. Then she saying it with a ‘please’ makes me think she is probably not manipulating. She is genuinely missing her naani.
It has happened once before when she woke up at 3 in the night and asked for naani. We made a call to naani, she refused to speak. Tried hugging and cuddling. Did not work. More than an hour of non-stop crying when H decided the only way out was to forcefully sleep her. Did not work, it only made her scream more. Thank god for Barney, she was calm for few minutes and dosed off in the couch. The next morning, I sat her down and we had our usual mother-to-daughter conversation. [This mother-to-daughter conversation we always have when she is in the happiest of her moods. When I talk to her, I am either hugging her OR sitting her in my lap.] I asked her why she behaved the way she did. She said ‘But I love naani mummy. That’s why I cried!’. It made me feel sad, I made a sad face and said hmm.., I love her too. She then said ‘It’s ok Mummy. Naani will finish making mummum for naani and come to my home’. I thought she probably had a bad dream or something, probably why she woke up in the first place.

As I had written in Dlittle’s homecoming post, when I came home with Dlittle, to my surprise she did not fuss a bit. [This is the kid who will hit Hubby if he pats me in front of her, as she would thinks he is hitting me]. She was this happy go sister playing the sister part. And that surprised me. Might sound like a saddist, but at times it was disappointing. She had no issues with me carrying or nursing Dlittle, not once asked me to put Dlittle down and carry her.
After some thought it occurred to me that it was because of naani. She interpreted naani’s coming as Muumy for Dlittle::Naani for D. It worked then. Now that naani has left, she is not able to articulate that. This is my interpretation. I might be totally wrong here.

Well, naani is not coming back anytime soon, so today I told her that very thing. Naani is not coming back, but naani has promised to send D a lot of gifts for her birthday, and guess what Naani requested Mummy to host D’s birthday in chuck-e-cheese (Her favorite place). She seems to be super excited. It it continues, I am planning to get some videos and books on this theme and talk her into it.
Lets see how this goes.

‘I want Nanny to come to my home, Mummy’ says D over and over again. At first, I kept repeating the story I had initially framed that Naani has to make mummum for Naana. in retrospect, I am not sure that was right.

Last couple of times she adds ‘Yucky Naana’ in addition to ‘I will tell Naani not to make mummum for Naana and come to my home’. Most of the time she says this when she gets corrected for bad behavior and is looking for a rescuer. I keep telling myself she is just using it as an excuse to get out of the situation, which by the way she is very capable of.

This morning, I was still in my bed with Dlittle cooing near me. D and papa were sleeping downstairs. Dlittle’s cooing got louder and she was looking absolutely adorable. Made me make a call to Naani, and Naani was as always hyper to here the little one. I did not realise I had been talking to her for more then an hour, D woke up in the mean time and came upstairs. Its our morning ritual, she wakes up, comes to me, we wish each others a very good morning, snuggles into me and sleeps few more minutes. This morning she came up, wished good morning and asked who I was talking to. I said ‘Naani, betu. You want to talk?’ She took the phone from me and the first sentence she uttered ‘Please come to my home Naani’. Naani could not speak for few seconds. I can only imagine what she might have gone through. She gathered herself and said I will come soon beta. Naana wants to talk to you. and hands the phone to Naana. Only for Naana to hear that he was a yucky Naana and D does not like him because he made Naani to come there and make mummum for him. I asked D to stop saying that, but Naana stopped me and asked me to let her vent it out .

Dlittle is sleeping and I am supposed to start the work day. The tone D used this morning is haunting me. Is my love not enough? Is my baby feeling left out? I so wanted to not send her to day care today, but I have a work commitment today. duh!
I know life has to go on, I just needed a place to vent!

I am 2 months old(10 weeks). Hurray!
An Update on 2 month journey.

Month 1:
Life has been good these 2 months. The first month I was sleeping for the most part. Rest of the time I spent battling the milk machine. Mommy kept blaming me for Mastitis, thank god she figured it was the fenugreek supplement taken without a set routine, causing the milk machine to go bonkers!

My first outing:
My first day out was when I turned 30 days. My first visit outside of house and doctors office was The temple. Papa does not believe in God, still he accompanies Mommy any time she wishes to go the temple. Thanks for being sensitive to her feelings, Papa. We went to the temple, thanked God for giving us everything we have and prayed for every body’s well being. I thought we were driving back home happily sleeping in the calming vibration of the car, when it was suddenly parked in front of the subway restaurant. I was kinda hungry, could wait few more minutes, so went back to sleep right away. Just then heard Mommy mumbling to naani it would take 10 minutes for the sandwich and then about 20 minutes to reach the park. The park was Ddidi’s favorite, had choo choo train and carousel in addition to regular park stuff. By the time I realised what she had said, mommy and papa were inside the restaurant. What would I do? I was hungry and cannot wait 30 minutes. I was demand fed you see, I had to decide when I wanted milk. And the only way to communicate was to scream. I started screaming on top of my lungs. Papa had switched the child lock on and so naani could not get out of the car. Ddidi’s car seat was in between mine and naani’s, she could not reach out to me. Neither could she unbuckle Didi as Papa had left the car running for the Ac to work.
Meanwhile mommy and papa are happily ordering sandwich and debating which soft drink to take with it. Mommy turned for a minute and saw naani waving at her frantically. She came running to hear me screaming. By time time, I was crying so loud that naani had tears in her eyes and Ddidi was crying not knowing what else to do. Luckily there was a private spot nearby, I got fed lunch. A quick conference was held to decide the next plan of action. After some debating, decided to go to another park that was 2 minutes away, which by the way Ddidi likes as well. She calls this duckling park.

Month 2+ :
At about 8 weeks, I started cooing and gurgling. I can now turn myself to track the sound. I cannot see clearly yet, but I can recognise parents and Ddidi by the voice. I love when Mommy also coos and tries to make the same sound as I do. And I respond right away with a big toothless grin.

At 9 weeks it was time for the pre-scheduled doc appointment to take my 2 month shot(grr…). We were getting late and Ddidi was insisting on joining us. You see, she likes stickers. She will go any distance to get one. Even to the doctors office. Dr J comes by for the physical evaluation. I am trying hard to say Hello and Thank you to her as I wanted to show I can speak. ok, not words yet, but sounds like gurr.. burr.. ung.. aggu… Dr. J immediately figured and told mommy that I am going to be one talkative girl. Good luck Mommy! Or should I rephrase it to Good luck Papa.
3 talkative girls and one man to listen! We are going to be one fun family!

My weight and height were at the 60% percentile(11.3 oz / 23 inches), I could see smiling faces all over the room. It meant so much to them and I was happy to see them happy. Just when I thought the doc visit was over and it wasn’t that bad after all, I was taken to this room where the nurse had his nose covered and the needles lay in the tray waiting to poke me. Mommy quickly volunteered to take Ddidi out, throwing me into papa’s arms. I screamed for about 10 seconds, it really wasn’t that bad. Made me wonder why Mommy was making such a big fuss in the morning.. Little did I know what was to come later!
We came home and I slept. When I woke up I felt an excruciating pain in the thighs where I got my shots. What then? Scream again, Mommy gave me Tylenol and it helped in about 15 minutes. I hope to be pain free for another 2 months before I am due for the 4 month shot

Life is great and I am happy to be part of my family!

- Dlittle

Long long ago, very long ago the wonderful noon, the charming Sunshine’s mumma and the sweet Kiran tagged me on Indian Writing.
It had completely slipped my mind and also needed me to THINK!!
Today while reading the latest post of noon, I read the first commenter honoring the tag and realised I had missed it too. Though I don’t read a lot and don’t have much to add, I had to write just to honor the tag!

I am not a big book reader, particularly fiction not my up of tea. I like to read books that are loser to reality, go ahead call me boring!. The closest to fiction is Calvin and Hobbes, with an exception I Love it!
I love to scan magazines and surf the net.

My all time favorites are Amar chitra katha and chandamama.
This was the first book I got introduced as a child. Probably why I love it to date. Though I have outgrown it, if I see one in front of me today, I got to read it.

- Malgudi Days by R.K Narayanan.
Does it need a mention?

- Five point someone by chetan bhagat
Wonderful book, its a story of three friends Alok, Hari and Ryan who rank the toughest exam, get into IIT only to get frustrated with the system.
Dislaimer: No, I am not from IIT. But those who made their first best friends at college can very well relate to it.

- The Namesake by Jumpa Lahiri
Beautifully written, my kinda book. Not sure I an relate to the character as of yet, only time will tell.

- The Elephant Paradigm by Gurucharan Das
Talks about India rising as a steady elephant based on the potential of its hungry youth. Though I don’t agree with few of this theories, it was a good read.

- The Glass palace by Amitav Ghosh
Read this as it happened to be in my house.. I am not a big fan of historic tales though this one was well written.

I am not tagging anyone as I am writing this really lateee.. If there is anyone reading this and not yet been tagged, please consider yourself tagged!

Whats in a name? How far would you go to choose a meaningful, yet unique, yet easy to pronounce name?

Check it out:
Chinese parents choose to name their kid ‘@’

-

What’s in a domain name?

The more I read about it, the more it freaks me out! Domain names are like real estate in the internet world. Hundreds of companies getting into the domain names auction/resale business. DomainTools , GreatDomains, ebay to name a few. Interesting thing worth noting is that now you can take a LOAN based on the popularity of your domain name(which is mostly measured as a Google hit count! ). If you haven’t freaked out as of yet, scroll down one of the above sites and check the price tag. OR google on ‘domain sold million’.

Why am I not frantically buying domain names and blogging about it instead?
1. Ran out of topics to write. (Pun intended!)
2. We own about 100+ domain names already and are starting to loose track of it.
(We are not cyber squatting here, these domain names were bought with the intention of starting a business, some for personal use involving us and family, some as the name just appealed to us. One business idea translates into 10 or more domain names. The .com, .org, .net and few other mumbo-jumbo combinations. Even if we were to domain squat, whats wrong? Whose ever gets there first wins. Isn’t that the rule. Don’t you buy real estate as an investment only to be sold later with NO intention of using it?)

Mommies: If you have a business idea in mind, this might be the time to claim your space. Even if the business does not become a reality, the domain may be worth. And when you make it big, remember !!ME!! and do drop a line
It only takes a few dollars to register and few more to host a site from US, not really sure of the logistics involved to host from India.
I think almost all the dictionary words and readable combination of < 5 letters are taken. But the Indian market(Hindi and other regional language domain names) seem untapped. Alright not untapped, but still has a lot of potential.

T(amil)(H)indi
Me and H come from the North of India, but my parents settled in the South of India when I was a toddler. Which translates to me singing ‘ennadi muniyamma un kannule maaiye’. Yes, I can speak that good Tamil!

H does not speak or understand Tamil, neither does my father. So, my Tamil is restricted to friends and sissy(she married a South Indian, speaks Tamil at home), sporadically with brother and mom.

When D turned one, we visited Naani. Naani lovingly calls her ‘raaja kutti’(chota raaja), kutti moni(chote moni) and such kind. H who has tuned himself to selective hearing, turns around and gives a shabby smile. A little later when naani is not around, he mumbles I know your mom loves D. And she has all the right in the world to call her anything she feels like. But “KUTTI” (DOG) is too much?

How about H(indi)(E)inglish?
We had just moved into this house which has 2 floors with an obvious stairs to go upstairs. I am downstairs preparing dinner in the kitchen when I hear a thud sound. I run out to find D sitting below the staircase and crying. I hug my sweetie, after a bit of consoling ask her what had happened.
I pat fall down like dhum and (h)urt my brain.
I say to her If you walk carefully, you wont fall down.
But I was tutooing(thod, breaking) and phading(tearing) the paper, papa gave me pitta(pitayi), thats why I was running fast fast.

Ready for some D(aughter)(H)inglish?
Papa goes to office on a weekend and D as always is ready with her shoes and jacket. Papa convinces D that he has a meeting with a customer and will be back home soon. Just at that moment, I was preparing custard to make fruit salad that night. To distract D, I tempt her to come into the kitchen to see how mummy is making the custard. H tells D that D can watch mummy making the custard, by that time he will finish his meeting and then papa and D an go to park. custard was made and put into the fridge for cooling. Night time came and I had forgotten all about it, blame it on post-partum harmones.

D: ‘Papa, I want customer’.
Papa: beta, meeting got over in the afternoon and customer went to his house.
D: But, I want customer, Papa.
Papa: [Thinks she probably thought customer was a toy??]. customer Uncle has gone to his house.
D: No papa. Not that. I want c-u-s-t o m-e-r. (That’s how we teach D to pronounce large words by splitting them into smaller bits).
Papa: ok, D. Lets ask Mummy. Where is mummy?
D: Mummy is upstairs papa. [Starting to whine]. I want my customer. Mummy said she will give after I finish mummum. come, I will show u.
She asks him to open the fridge and points to the bowl of custard.

Thanks to Trishna aunty’s comments, my mommy finally took the much needed trip to guiltland and I got my first besan haldi (gram flour and turmeric) bath today!
It comes to my knowledge that my sister started with besan haldi bath and slowly graduated to Aveeno. I got the privilege to start with the expensive Aveeno soothing bath for babies. Not that I don’t like it, but besan haldi has its charm. The smell and the freshness! Please don’t mistake her, she loves me to death, she probably just got a little lazy and tired..
I am lying on the bed and squealing with joy as she writes this post.

Thanks once again Aunty. Please do feel free to whack her once in a while.
(She promises more updates after I get my first shots tomorrow. grr….)

- Dlittle

Back into the blogosphere after a brief absence. July took a toll on us emotionally, physically and electronically. We are slowly gathering ourselves on all fronts.

Electronically broke as the laptop keyboard gave up to the water D spilled on it.
Physically rough as all of us except naani were sick almost all of July. cold, cough, double dose of mastitis, diarrhea as a side effect of antibiotics. To top it, I got diagnosed with umbilical hernia needing another elective surgery. [A loaded post to follow].
Emotionally drained as the amazing lady, D’s naani headed back to our homeland last week, the toughest to deal with.

The house feels haunted especially during the day with naani leaving, D going back to day care, Dlittle sleeping and H going to office. It has just been a week without her and it already feels like decades.

I had been prepping D in this regard. But then D being D, who thinks the world is under her feet and everybody around her is obliged to her needs, kept saying Naani is not going anywhere.

The day before naani is scheduled to leave, me and D go to the mall to pick up some stuff. On the way, me and D have a heart-to-heart mom-to-daughter conversation.

D : Mummy, where is naani going?
Me: She is going to India betu.
D : Why mummy? Because I doing bamaashi(mishcief). I will go home and tell naani naani I will be good girl. Not do bamaashi.
Me: Na beta. You are a very good girl. She is going because naana is alone there and there is nobody to make food for him.
D : Naana is alone? [pause]When she will over with mummum then she will come in the night and sleep with me, mummy.
Me: hmm… Naani has to make mummum today, tomorrow, Saturday, Sunday. All the days. Naana does not know to cook.
D : Mummy, I also not know to make mummum. Then naani will come here to D house and make mummum. Yes, mummy?
Me: hmm.. ok here is the deal. Mummy will make mummum for D and papa. Naani will make mummum for naana. ok? Who would you want to make mummum for D? Mummy or Naani?
D : [So much for the kids attention span, or maybe she does not want to choose]. Look at. Two Two bus mummy. That my pink school bus.

We shopped happily for an hour and came back home.

The day arrives. Before I even woke up, Naani has put the remaining teeny-bit load of laundry in the washer, cooked for the day, loaded the dish washer. When I opened my eyes, I saw her in my room with a cuppa chai. [I should say the 2.5 months she has been here, almost every day I woke up to the smell of chai). I am carefully avoiding to look into her eyes as the water geyser in both our eyes are overflowing ready to gush out. D and papa get ready to go the airport, I am making sure she has packed everything, the passport and medicines in particular. The moment comes. H starts the car, puts D in the car seat and is waiting. There goes, all the water in store. Naani kisses me on the forehead and says, bachon ke saamne nahi rote. (Not to cry in front of kids). You are a mother of 2 beautiful kids now. You should enjoy every moment. Khush raho. Smile on both our faces and she leaves.

Her flight gets delayed by 2 hours, sitting in airport thinking of her grand daughter, she finally could not resist temptation to call home and check on D. D tells her, Naani, u are going to make mummum for naana. Make 1 mummum, 2 mummum.... 5 mummum fast fast and come to my house.

Later that night, when D gets ready to sleep, she tells, lets wait mummy, naani will over mummum and come and then D will sleep with naani. You go and sleep with Dlittle, Dlittle is alone and she will get scared. Felt the lump in my throat and kept reading her story book. D then says, Mummy D didi is sad today. I ask her Why beta? Mummy is here with you and mummy loves you very much. She says mummy can you read Dora and boots story for me? Hugs me and sleeps.
She woke up at 3am screaming the monster bit her. I thought in reality some bug had bit her and stripped her and the bed to find nothing. When asked where the monster wwas, she says it came out of her leappad Boo-Monsters inc book into her sappa(sapna - dream)!! Makes me wonder how their brain works and how they can relate things.

Day 3:
She is comfortably talking to naani over the phone and is doing ok. However, she is starting to settle her emotions with Dlittle. Few statements that shocked me and H.
- I will not bite her mummy.
- Open your eyes Dlittle. D didi wants to play with you. [Fiddles with Dlittle's eyelids].
- I ask her not to bother Dlittle as she is sleeping. I get back – ‘You are killing me mummy!’
Where is she learning all these from?

Day 4:
Happy big didi again. Happily conversing with naani over the phone, not once asked about her coming back. She is just giving updates on her sister, day care and every thing under the world.

Day 5:
couple of times she has asked for naani and why naani is not coming bak. The she tells herself naani is making mummum for naana beause he cannot cook.
Now, she wants Me and only Me to rock her to sleep just like I do Dlittle.

Day 6:
We even managed to find time to go for a walk, all four of us. It felt great, felt like a sane family again.

So, life is settling, I am learning to be more patient(or just plain patient) and more tolerant. I am dead tired at the end of the day. Both the kids are sleeping, H happy in his office chatting with his offshore team. My back bone is about to break, yet there is some sense of accomplishment and immense satisfaction