Many a times, the 8th of the month would pass by without the crossing thought that Dlittle just got older by another month. But, ever since the first of this month, it has shadowed my mind. My little daughter is going to be a year old in a month, soon to be toddler.

Both my kids have brought so much joy in our lives, I don’t have words to express. The balance they bring in this ever-stressful life, the sanity they help maintain, the kindness they provoke, the differences they make us reconcile. They are the closest one can get to God, in the very true sense.

Dlittle and D are temperamentally very different. D is bubbly she amazes me with her energy and she has got the cutest smile. She is not the cuddling types, she is more of the thinker type, taken after her fathers genes. How many times I have bribed her with one thing or the other just to get a kiss, just for a hug. My littlest one however, is the utterly cuddly type. Sometimes she would come close by, lick my face, push her head into my lap and just lie there for few seconds. She would then get up and walk, do something else and then come right back. For once I realise the emotions animals portray by that very act. This little one, would wake up in the night, sit up, look at me, smile and fall on my belly. Cling to me, wrap her hands around and continue to sleep.

D is not the cuddly and expressive type, but when she does, she tosses my heart for a spin. I was around 24 weeks pregnant with Dlittle. We had gone to The Disney on Ice theater show. It was dark by the time the show got over and the road towards the parking lot had been detoured to manage the crowd. One of the detour sign had a protruding rod, which was not visible in the fast moving crowd. And I tripped over it. My stomach down. I could not register what had happened, for couple of minutes unable to get any meaningful word out of my mouth. I remember blabbering, naturally the only thought in my mind was the baby. The husband visibly mad. In all this commotion, I did not notice that my 2 year old then, had been watching unable to express her emotions. After a little while when I was back to senses, I realised that I had shielded my belly with my hands, had bruises all over my palm, but the belly did not touch the ground. We decided to go to the emergency anyways to be sure. Well, we buckled up in the car. This little darling of mine, who seemed contained all along, burst into tears and started shivering. One and only one thing she kept repeating. Crying and talking constantly without a breather. Mummy, are you ok? No cry mummy, please come and sit with me. Hand pakko[Hold my hands]. We pulled over the very next parking lot, me and her hugged each other, both weeping like there is no tomorrow. This moment though scary was precious. This kind of love can only be felt, not expressed.

When the two sisters don’t see each others for few hours, they yearn for each other. The expression they show when they wake up in the morning OR when I go to pick D up from the school is priceless. Dlittle would pat her older one and squeal at the first sight and D would not get tired telling her friends over and over again, Hey, this is my sister. Come, come, see her. You know, she does this. She does that. She knows to walk. The love don’t last long, within few hours they are on top of each other fighting for the same pen or paper. But somehow, when the music is turned on, lights are dimmed, we are wrapping up for the day, they get their calm back. They cuddle, they kiss, they say good night. The next morning, first thing younger one does is to look at the door looking out for her sister. The first thing the older one does is to hug and kiss her little one, ask her if she had a good sleep, even if she is at the verge of wetting her pants. And that gives me the hope, that though they will be of very different personalities, though they will compete, though they will fight over petty things, though they will choose different paths, though they will physically far apart, they will be there for each others, they will long for each others, long after I am gone.

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