Back in January, we had a parent-teacher meeting at D’s school. The meeting was organized in to 15 minute slots. The teacher -K, was talking to this parent, while I was waiting for my turn. K was telling this parent that their daughter was an all-rounder. That there isn’t a single change she wants in her, she is just a perfect little sweet kid.


My turn comes. After apologies for not sending D to school half the time, thanks to allergic bronchitis, we sat down with her record. K said there isn’t much she has to say as D had hardly attended 15 days of school by then. She did say that D is a very quick learner and even if she is absent for 2-3 days, she picks up very quickly. She is very curious, vocal, assertive and does whatever it takes to get her job done. So she wouldn’t worry much about her missing school. Her health comes first. I was pretty happy with her comments.


Coming to the title of this post. While I am still in conversation with K, this parent who had just finished with her meeting, the parent of the all-rounder child. She barges in without asking for an excuse to affirm with the teacher – K, just wanted to ask again.
My daughter is the best in the class no?


It took me few seconds to come to terms what I heard. The confirmation came from the very embarrassed K’s transparent face. I mean, what was this parent thinking. How insensitive of her to ask such a question? Out loud in a hardly 15×15 feet room, where 2 other parents are still in the meeting, few parents are waiting for their turn and few are collecting their records and kids and about to leave.


K tells this parent, something along these lines – As I said, your daughter is doing very well and there is nothing more I expect out of her. To which the parent nods her head and leaves with a sense of disappointment. She probably was expecting – Of course yes! K then tells me in a very apologetic tone that D is pretty good also. Only because she has been missing out on school, she has some catching up to do. That D is of the curious kind, wants to know everything around, which leads to a little distraction, which is pretty common with kids her age.


I stopped the teacher right there and told her there is no need to be apologetic. I am not expecting D to be perfect OR the best in the class. As long as she she shows interest and curiosity in learning new things, that will do for me.


I don’t believe in this “best-in-the-class” or “first-in-the-class” theory. You want to compete? Then compete with your own self till you think you are the best for your own standards. That is the bottom line that will provide the much needed confidence and self esteem. I believe in making sure my kid is exposed to a variety of material that’s stimulating enough to invoke curiousness. Good environment, good school, balanced friends circle, books, field trips, puzzles, a good dose of dinner time talks to keep the communication going. That she is adding something into her knowledge kitty everyday, however tiny that might be. That she stays grounded, doesn’t develop attitude and grows into a good human being. And her curiosity is to die for, I know it can be is a little too much to handle at times, but this is an art that is pretty difficult to acquire otherwise.


Provide them with the exposure and stimulation, and they will sure turn out to be the best in their own form, in something that interests them, that they feel passionate about. They are 4, 5 years old’s for God’s sake and there is this pressure to perform the best in class. I totally fail to understand. What does “best in the class” mean anyways?!


All said and done, this is me recording my thoughts as of August 18th, 2009, 11:20PM. How will I react if my child ends up coming last in her class, only time will tell. I had such set firm opinions on few areas of parenting some 5 odd years back, most of them trashed when I got my hands dirty. There’s a lot of learning and de-learning we do as we grow as a parent. Only time will tell how long I will keep up with this promise to myself that I will not compare or pressurize my kids to perform.

Monday morning blues? Beat it with some laughter

Courtesy: Mail Forward

I don’t recall writing anything as crazy as the above ones, though I am definite I had those moments, specifically the second one. Just never had the guts to do so. The closest I got is this 8085 Microprocessor paper, where due to some error, we were issued the PG exam paper. Pretty much everything looked Latin. Classmates were leaving the hall after the mandatory 30 minutes time period. Some were visibly upset. And there I was asking for supplement sheets. What I wrote? Nothing relevant to the questions. Just everything and anything I knew about 8085 microprocessors. Don’t recall how many additional sheets I wrote, but very well recall friends and foes furious eyes when I came out of the hall.

And this other thing I always did. Only in mathematics. If I am not able to solve a said problem, and I feel time pressured, then I would leave some space. Enough if I were to come back to it with an attempt to solve. And continue with the next one. Many a times, I would not have time to come back. Leaving that void probably made the examiner wonder what I was thinking.