Comments on: Life, Old Age, Staying Fit and the Likes

By: Abha

Abha — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 10:12:28 +0000

whow! whow! whow!

i must check with my parents if i was that curious! i dont think so! so hpfully Cubby wont be too?! like genetic lack of curiosity and all?! wishful thinking, you say? sigh!

but i think you handled it really well! i will read this again when i need help!

cheers!

By: DDmom

DDmom — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 12:14:37 +0000

@choxbox, Second time?? Why do you have to remind us parents that all this will repeat another time

By: DDmom

DDmom — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 12:13:28 +0000

@Collection Of Stars, I am choking up reading your comment. I am glad she took your grandpa's death quite well.

By: DDmom

DDmom — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 12:03:00 +0000

@Tharini, Thanks T. And I agree 100%. I always worry that if I don’t take the time to give her a convincing answer, then I am leaving her open to her own interpretations. Which is good at times, but can be damaging with certain topics. Secondly, I think it is of utmost importance to have a conversation on ALL topics, so she feels that her parents are someone she can always approach at later stage no matter how silly or confusing the issue is. That’s the hope anyways
And, almost everything is in the form of storytelling.. I find it way easier to get the point across.

By: DDmom

DDmom — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 11:57:56 +0000

@whatsinaname, Kids are more exposed these days, I think. I don’t think I even bothered to figure out what it meant at that age. Also, some kids are just a little too curious and won’t let go of any topic unless they are convinced themselves.
Birds and bees.. well.. I have spun a whole story around it. Will write another time, I am sure it will make for a good laugh when she reads it later.
Did you kids listen when you said – wait till u turn 12? If yes, then give me tips on training them like that

By: choxbox

choxbox — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 18:50:42 +0000

aaha! answered all these Qs once. doing it the second time

*goes away feeling like a paati*

By: Collection Of Stars

Collection Of Stars — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 11:42:31 +0000

My grandfather passed away last year right in front of KT. She then was part of all the rituals that followed. She was also old enough by that time to ask questions and try to figure out what was happening. She asked what happened and we told her that thatha was in a lot of pain, so god took him to make him all right. She keeps asking about why he is not back yet and she pretends to talk to him over the phone a lot of times. She took the whole experience quite well but would get upset when any of us cried.
I think the fact that my grandpa was old when he died has made a lot of impact on her. Whenever I mention even in passing about getting old, she bursts into tears and tells me ‘amma, please don’t become old’.

By: Tharini

Tharini — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 13:46:41 +0000

DDMOm ; I am absolutely floored by your reply to her on the process of death. I think it was wonderful. I don’t see why we need to regard death, w.r.t our children as a topic to watch out for. You did right by talking abt it as naturally as any other subject you wouold have entertained her questions.

I think the problem happens if you seem discomifted by the question or try to avoid the aubject. Then she knows something is up and catches on to your anxiety about it. Else, its as regular as anything else under the sun.

Gotta say it again, I love love love your answer for it and will be using it for myself at home.

By: whatsinaname

whatsinaname — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 09:51:55 +0000

WELL, I am at a stage when all the questions have been answered and now my girls give me a knowing look
Never discussed “DEATH” in a detailed manner when they were young,so cant comment on that. But birds and bees, yes, they did have lots of questions esp about “dooram” (periods) which my MIL observes even now and my std answer used to be, “wait till u turn 12″.
Anyways, it sure gets embarrassing at times But you will have a good laugh later

By: DDmom

DDmom — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 05:30:26 +0000

@Poppy, Poppy, very true. And I did try that once or twice. She shrug her shoulder and said. I don’t know. You are my parent. You only *should* know.
But, what you say is so true. Sometimes, these manufactured answers are the ones that open up million questions and a blank page for interpretation. As, we the ones who are manufacturing the answers are not sure of it in the first place

By: Poppy

Poppy — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 04:59:16 +0000

Wha- already? I’m amazed by her curiosity but I can imagine how hassled you’d be. I think though with tough topics it’s better to let them find their own answers than to feed them manufactured ones. I’m thinking if you’d asked her “What do you think happens when people die” she might have come up with a waay different answer ? Dunno, just thinking aloud.

I talk about death freely at home, I use the tamil word for it and so far I’ve used it in stories for mostly animals (coward coward) but once or twice for humans. I’ve yet to introduce the bees and the birds even casually, although I have spoken about weddings and babies plenty of times. It’s easy when half of my family either seems to be getting married or pregnant ;p

Let’s see, I’m thinking this year will be the year of tough questions for us – I can see the signs