!! We did it !!

We are still working on few intrinsic details, but overall it was one successful week in school it has been a joy ride for her as there is no pressure to eat and the word “no” is prohibited in school. All of the four days, she has vehemently refused to leave the school and come home, we had to pass subtle hidden stares and bribe her to avoid any further embarrassment.

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The first day was rather easy, was no surprise after having experienced her first day in day care. That morning, after a good adult style debate, ended up making pasta for her lunch instead of aalo paratha. Her lunch bag was packed, her back pack had the hand sanitizer, a box of Kleenex and sunscreen. When we reached school, she insisted on carrying all her belongings herself. She excitedly ran inside leaving me with few seconds to capture the moment.

I walked D into her class while LH waited in the lobby with Dlittle. The plan was to start her off with half a day, but a talk with her teacher(Miss B) convinced me to let her go with the regular planned routine from day 1. I was pretty restless the whole day, called the school in the afternoon to check on her eating skills. Miss B said she ate well. I went around 4:00pm to pick her up, she was dressed in the same clothes as she left home. Yes, that means no accidents I was the happiest, proudest mother ever! The minute we reached home, I showered her with hugs and kisses. After the emotions settled down a bit, I opened her lunch box to find pasta just as it was packed in the morning. Wondered why Miss B said that she ate well. Perhaps she did not know which kid I was asking about? I was furious. D was active as ever, not eating lunch did not seem to bother her. I sat her down for some talking. She said she did not eat because she wanted sandwich. I had to feel happy that D hadn’t cried, hadn’t fussed once and adjusted very well to the new environment. Considering it was her first day, I had to be hopeful her eating will get better in days to come.

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Day 2, 2 aalo paratha’s and some grapes were packed for lunch and snack. I told Miss B that D had not eaten anything the day before. Miss B promptly answered it was the montessori style of teaching. They are not allowed to force kids to eat Or do anything for that matter. Not seeing a happy mother, she added to keep an eye on D and remind her few times to finish her lunch. That evening, D refused to come back home as she was waiting in line to paint. I waited for her to finish painting, she still wouldn’t come. When few subtle stares did not do the trick, bribing to grab pink color pencil on the way back home did the trick. No accidents on day 2 . One out of the two parathas had found its calling and that raised my hope.

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Day 3, It was going to be a rice trial. Egg rice and apples it was. Three of my friends called that afternoon to check on D. The proud mother could not stop raving, in the process forgot all about the phone JINX.. D came home in her spare pants that day The good news, her lunch box was half empty.

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Day 4, 3 pieces of idli and grapes, it was. All 3 gone by the end of the day. !! IDLI ROCKS !! And no accidents either! Maybe she knew it was Friday?

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Report from Miss B: She is assertive, very active, talkative, adamant, knows what she wants. She is not able to focus on one job[project, play], she hops from one to another… She does not give space to other kids..
I wonder if it’s too much to ask a 34 month old to focus on A Project? Are they old enough to have a sense of it? I stayed back on Friday to observe D and the other kids. Other kids much younger than D seem to have the ability to focus. They pick a toy, sit on the big conference style table and play with that one toy without getting distracted with others on the table. [These kids have been with this school at least a month]. Is it a matter of time? I don’t know yet. I wish to learn more about this and log the changes it brings in D.

This past Friday was D’s last day in day care, She is starting Montessori from tomorrow. ** Wiping the sweat! **

Coming to think about it, its exactly one year since she started day care. Made me take a pleasant stroll down the memory lane

Choosing a day care:
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We took the decision to put D in day care when she turned 21 months. Ideally I wanted to wait till she hit the 2 year marker. But, D being a very social and outgoing person, I found it harder and harder to entertain her the whole day. Add to it my not-so-good temperament to handle it without losing it at the end of day. To top it, Hs venture required more resources and I had to pitch in. It was tough, but we had to take the decision to let her be with other kids of her age for about 3 hours a day. The painstaking hunt began.

I had few basic criterion in mind, one with the least amount of deviation was going to be it.
- Clean, bright and spacious.
- Licensed.
- Child to teacher ratio less than 4.
- Should not have more than 10 kids.
- Mostly Indian food OR atleast vegetarian food.
- Outdoor play area.
- Experienced.
Nice to have:
- Kids of approximately same age.
- Recommendation from moms I knew.
- Hindi speaking.
- Close to home.

Our first preference was an Indian home based day care, as for the food, number of kids and language condition. Nothing against a non-Indian place, we thought this would make her transition smooth. Looked around for almost a month. Some were disgustingly unhygienic, some were run solely for business with no passion whatsoever. Some which I liked did not have vacancy, some were not willing to take part time kids. After a very lengthy exhausting search, we decided on one which two of our friends recommended and was closest to our needs. This was the one which I had liked at first sight. Mostly, because the care giver and the helpers(2 of them) sounded very sweet and very caring, they had 10 kids in all, all the three care givers were 40+, she has been doing this for 12 years.
On the day of tour, me and H went into another room to get a copy of the paper work and talk more details. When we came out, D was there playing with the kids as though she had known them for ages. Everything about this place just sounded right. And we enrolled her right there.

First week in day care:
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The decision was made and D was going to start in a week. The day comes. We reached the place round 9:30 AM. I had planned to stay there for about half hour and sneak out quitely. The mother in me was expecting to see her cling on to me, not let me leave the place and what not! To the contrary, the minute we reached, she ran inside and started playing with the kids. I handed over the paper work and the check to the lady, came down to deliver my pre-planned lecture to D. She did not even bother to sit for a minute and talk to me. She got busy finding her spot within the circle the kids were sitting getting ready for Circle time. After observing for few minutes and instructing the care giver to call me the minute she would fuss, I left hesitantly. I felt an overwhelming emotion to leave her with someone I hardly knew. This was the very first time ever I was leaving her with anybody other than H and my mom. I couldn’t stop myself from driving by her house couple of more times. Don’t know maybe I was expecting to see smoke in her house the minute D cries. It felt silly and I drove back home. I was constantly checking my home phone, my cell phone making sure they were all working. I wouldn’t remove my shoes in anticipation of the phone call any minute.

After about an hour, I received the much anticipated call. Only to hear that D is happily playing with the kids, not once asked for me, swiped the snack plate and lunch to the last bit. And asked for a second serving. Boy, did that make me happy and proud! But the happiness lasted only a few minutes, as soon I realised she was a grown up toddler and did not need me 24 x 7. My heart broke into zillion pieces. Barely managing to contain myself for another hour, I went to pick her up. She saw me, ran and gave me a hug and a kiss. She told “her friends of one day” that I was her Mummy. It felt so good to see her so happy.

Very soon, she started refusing to take her afternoon nap at home and wanted to go back to V aunty home(day care). And surprisingly she would sleep in V aunty home, whatever magic V aunty did. I think it was the environment and the sight of other kids sleeping. We then extended her 3 hours to 6 hours. She would nap and take her evening milk in V aunty home, followed by snack in mummy home

Last day in day care:
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This Friday was her last day in day care. She is growing up at the speed of light. How I wish I could slow down the clock and extend her babbling toddler years. How I wish I could have blogged from the day she was born to record day to day tidbits. Wishes are wishes, I am happy I am writing now. Coming to the topic, on the last day I took cup cakes for the kids, a bouquet of flowers, a nice box of chocolate and a hand written thank you note for each of the care givers. Asked D to personally thank them, making this year long journey a fun and memorable one. There was a 5 minute hugging and kissing session within V aunty, B aunty, F aunty and D. We left with an open invitation to visit them anytime

What next?
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We had a surprise visit by a friend this morning and D tells them ‘Mommy says I am going to PINK school(thats the name D has given to her school) tomorrow . She knows somethings cooking, but does not have a clue what “school” is. I have been reading Bernstein bears back to school books and showing her Elmo ready for school videos, she seems to enjoy it.
As for me, the mother, its Monday evening and I am nervous. Nervous as in the day before exam! The questions all over again, this time the issues are different, but the emotions are the same.
Will she fit into the new environment?
Will she adjust to non-indian kids?
Will she be able eat by herself?
Will she pee and poop where she is supposed to!!

Tips?
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Experienced moms reading this post: Any tips on the type of food/snack to pack for lunch? Food that would taste good after being inside a packed box for 3 hours. Tips on helping her ease into the new environment.

For tomorrow, the grand plan is make aalo paratha early in the morning for her lunch and pick her up right after lunch. More updates as it happens…