It helps me to stay grounded and constantly r e m i n d s me to appreciate whatever I have.

This post is not about patriotism or an NRI flaunting their long lost love for their home country, which I am not and choose not to indulge. I am proud to be an American, very much an Indian American, very happy with whatever rights the Indian dual citizenship provides, for us to legally stay here as long as we want and are wanted.

This past week, the LH and Babio had been travelling and I was home alone with kids and my dad. Third time in a row, the kids fell sick one after the other, when the LH is not in town. I have been shuttling to the doctor’s office with 2 cranky kids, both wanting me to carry them and passify them at the same time. Thank God for ample domestic help, I could comfortably go around with the kids, leaving my Dad at the mercy of the maid, a good one.

First Dlittle caught an infection, with a very high temperature that wouldn’t come down in spite of administering alternate doses of paracetemol and brufen every 3 hours. She needed constant sponging even to contain the fever at 101 F. I held up decently well I think. But on the third day, when D developed a fever of 103.8, combined with stomach and chest pain, and I had to run to the doctor with an already cranky Dlittle, I lost it. I was cursing myself for having to go through all this all alone. Having hardly got a shut eye for well over 3 days, I was just terribly exhausted. Why this always happens just when the LH is out of town? Karma, punarjanam karma.

On the way back, the kids fell asleep on my lap, one on each side. Some kind of peace crept over, and I was watching the passers by on the road. The thought I just had about an hour ago reversed 180 degrees. How fortunate I am, was the thought this time around. To have a driver who drives the car, who puts the AC on and off on demand, some hundred times, when the cranky kids want it one minute and want it switched off another minute. How fortunate I am to be able to call my paed on a dusshera holiday, request for consultation and have the means to be comfortably driven some 15 kms to visit his home clinic. How fortunate I am to have food served on the table as soon as I reach home. How fortunate I am to be able to afford to take my kids to the doctor I think would be the best suited in spite of a holiday.


Looking through the car’s window, I witness this one lady with an infant in her arms, an empty milk bottle in her hands, and another kid holding on tightly to her torn clothes, knocking one car’s window after another asking for money. And this other family, 4 of all, the mother, the father, one older kid and one young infant all scrambled up in a scooty. It felt as though the kid or the mother would pop out any minute. The thought that was scary to me, is their everyday life. They seemed to be happy just like many others. The thought that then came, was of my maid’s sister who ended up quitting her job to take care of her ailing aunt, forgoing the little survival amount she made. I believe in karma and believe that everyone is destined to live life a certain predefined way. But why in the greater scheme of things, kids have to carry this burden, only the almighty knows. It breaks my heart however.

Bangalore is no short of classy restaurants and expensive outings. But, no matter how much one wishes to be in denial and hide inside the fancy tainted car, one cannot escape the streets and get to these fancy places without encountering a good lot of people with basic needs.

And this is why I love this place, the prominent mixed class of people constantly force us to take a step back from the daily rut of competitive lifestyle, rethink our priorities, remind us to appreciate everything we have, and to live life to the fullest. I could choose to sulk at the white Mercedes that zooms by, feel pressured/disappointed at not being able to make it as big in the area I wish to have a presence. OR I could look at the people who struggle for everyday things, feel happy for what I have and give as much as I can in any form. The choice is mine.

Unfortunately, this reminder of being fortunate and staying grounded comes at the expense of watching and feeling the not-so-privileged. Very sad, but true.

Why am I blogging all of a sudden? Because I waited 7 months for D and Dlittle to grow chubbier, and now need a space to flaunt their chubbiness. Or that I need a space to rant that the 7 year old jeans that fit me few months after Dlittle was born, does not fit me anymore.

No big bang announcements. I needed a break from that bay area lifestyle. A change to rejuvenate. Am totally recharged. The journey in Bangalore has been very smooth so far. People here are very warm, friendly and helpful. Life in general is pretty good. Few hiccups here and there, all very much manageable.

Feels like a good day to start back. Dlittle is all of 1 year and 9 months today. D is one day short of 4 years and 4 months. I am.. well.. we’ll not get there now. I’ll leave you with a promise to announce my 40th birthday.

Thanks to the many many of you’ll who wrote to me personally inquiring about my whereabouts. It means a lot. All you nice people, in addition to this blog’s newly-discovered-die-hard-fan V(my niece), are one of the reasons to get back in action. With all honesty, I probably wouldn’t have blogged this long if not for you readers and the comments you leave behind. Thanks!

Pic courtesy: iRecharge on Flickr

!! We are moving to Bangalore, India !!

The reason for all this drama in the previous posts? Let’s just say I am a drama queen. Or that I wanted to wait till the tickets were at the least blocked if not booked.

Why Why Why?
That’s the million dollar question. In my close to 10 year tenure here, I have come across many immigrants who wish to go back at some point or the other for one reason or the other. Sampling the thoughts, the common denomination factor invariably seems to be the extended family and aging parents.

I love this country with all my heart. This is my home. This is the life I know. I came here in my twenties with 2 suitcases, 500$ in hand, a visa stamped passport, a job and loads of determination. Though the initial intent was to work here for just a year, go back to unite with my then fiancé, who had no intentions of migrating out of Bombay. Life chose a different path for us. Circumstances forced him to make a business trip to California, Cupertino to be precise. A die hard fan of Steve Jobs gets lodged behind the Apple company, and rest is history.

This country is amazing. Living in the silicon valley, the technology hub, is like heaven for techno nerds and geeks[Read the LH]. The opportunities it gives, the thought process it provokes, the space it provides for creative thinking. Constantly surrounded by highly innovative, crazily creative and passionate people. Where else in the world would one find the headquarters of Google, Apple, Ebay, Yahoo, Oracle, IBM, top tier VC firms, all in the proximity of few miles. Oh, I can go on and on.

If not for being a resident of this place, the confidence it induces, we wouldn’t be running a business today. A business that has provided for 15 odd people in Bangalore for the past 3 years. With a salary I could not even have imagined when I worked in India in late 90’s.

Yet, there is an emptiness. Even at the end of a good productive day, when kids are asleep, the mind if free from racing thoughts, there is a longing to know what the aging parents are doing back home. Technology does bridge the distance, they are one phone/skype call away. Yet, there is a constant angst. What if there is an emergency? What if?

It’s important to put feelings in perspective. Living within India may not mean being physically present 24 x 7 or being available when the moment of need arises. Who has seen what future holds. In spite of this planning, who knows how things will pan out? But, self employment and the nature of our business is giving us this flexibility to take this decision without much impact, in terms of work.

The move is not permanent. We like to plan our life in 5 year chunks. We live in a global world, there is no denying there. A 5 year plan just seems more practical and realistic approach in this global economy. Our business in US will continue as usual. I am fully aware of my duties towards the country. To abide by the law, to be loyal, to pay taxes and to vote. At the same time, I cannot disown my birth country, neither can I disown my family that decided to stay back.

I will miss..
My brother, sister and family.

Friends, friends, friends. A small group of friends in the Bay area who are like extended family. The friends who took turns to provide food for 3 days when I was to be at bed rest. Those friends who took time off from work to stop by and lend a listening ear just because I was feeling low. Those friends whom I could call anytime of the day or night, don’t have to think twice before asking for any sort of help. Those friends whom I could chit chat while cooking and laugh over silly things. Thank you for being there, you will be missed.

I will most definitely miss the people, the general junta. Americans, Chinese, Mexicans.. There is some kind of positiveness in people here. Any passer by would almost always smile, say a hello, sometimes even take a minute to say how lovely the dress I am wearing is. Or that my daughter has a cute smile.

I will miss the non-interfering life style. I do what I wish, no one questions why.

I will miss Whole Foods/Trader Joe’s. Don’t ask me why, but yes, that comes this high in my will-miss list.

I will miss drinking milk directly from the carton, drinking water from the tap. I will miss the dry hot plates that comes out of the dishwasher.

Looking forward to..
I am so looking forward to this move.

To spend time with parents and parent-in-laws. It’s my turn to take care of them, love them and feel loved. To be with extended family, something my daughters have not experienced. This will bring its own set of issues, I am very well aware of that. Yet that experience I want to go through. I want my daughters to know what it is like to live with cousins, aunts and uncles. To spend a winter or summer vacation with them instead of home or a summer camp.

I am so looking forward to the energy India has. We did a dry run of 5 months in Bangalore about 2 years back. I will probably do a separate post on this, but the city in spite of its infrastructure issues has its charm. It’s vibrant, full of energy and enthusiasm.

I am so looking forward to having a cook and a cleaner. My house can once again be sparkling clean every minute of the day. I can be greeted with a glass of water the minute I enter the house. I can wake up to the gingery smell of chai served right to my bed. When the cook entertains D alongside preparing breakfast, I can get a little extra dose of sleep.

I am so looking forward to the sun dried crisp clothes. Oh, that smell! To exchange smiles with neighbors.

I am so looking forward to the change. The chaotic yet organized life style that amazingly works.

So, here we come Bangalore. Welcome us, will ya!

Disclaimer: This post is solely based on my personal experience and my personal opinion.